Slingshot to a different time

Posted: September 3, 2014 in Crazy Life of Mine
Tags: , , , ,

Laying here trying to wrap my head around some things that have happened in my world lately. If you have lived through any type of abuse, such as emotional abuse, when I talk about times when things happen that literally slingshot you back to another time and place you will understand.

It can be some unkind of hateful thing from someone you care about and all the sudden you are struggling to keep from disassociating. Your mind and body want to flee the situation. You desperately wish you could just scream or just not talk for about a week or both!

A parent who abuses emotionally whether it is to his or her spouse will inevitably teach these “skills” to his or her children whether the kids know it is happening or not. Often the kids don’t know it is happening. Their world gets slowly turned upside down until they are no longer who they once were. What is normal to them is warped but it’s happened to them so slowly they don’t even know it. I know. It happened to me as an adult.

I have been free from these feelings for a couple of years until just recently when I started writing about abuse openly. This time around I know what’s happening to the parties involved and can prepare myself better. It’s still hard though. I want to scream and lay it all out for my kids but they are not ready yet.

My heart hurts as I struggle to stay present, to keep my mind from temporarily going on vacation. I am tempted to check out mentally (stick my head in the sand) but I will not. You see if the abuser gets you to that point they have won. And I’m not defeated. My God is bigger than any of my adversaries. And ultimately He will sit in judgement and that frees me from doing that.

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Comments
  1. Ann Kish says:

    Like, also need

    >

    Like

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