Bah Humbug and the Grinch called Divorce

Posted: December 16, 2014 in Crazy Life of Mine
Tags: , ,

I hate Christmas. There, I’ve just come out and said it.

I don’t hate what we celebrate on Christmas – the birth of Christ. For that I think we shout it from the rooftops and the highest mountain tops!

But I still hate Christmas. Part of me loathes even getting on Facebook or any social media this time of year. Seeing happy, joyful, in tact families is a very painful reminder that mine is not.

While I love my friends of old and newer additions what you need to know about single and or divorced parents is this: sometimes Christmas just sucks for us. We see your family photos by beautifully decorated Christmas trees adorned with beautiful ornaments, surrounded by smiling children and secretly cringe.

My family didn’t really celebrate Christmas with presents or a tree until I was in high school. The only present I got every year was from my Grandma Sailors and we would open it on Christmas family vacation every year. That was always cool. It was not because of lack of financial means but a philosophical choice my parents had made. Which I’m not sure was such a bad thing.

By high school my parents started doing Christmas with a tree, presents and all. It was nice. I mainly just enjoyed my family all being together with my nephews, niece, etc. I liked making homemade fudge and tapioca pudding with my dad. Making peanut brittle, peanut clusters, turtles, cookies and more with my mom.

Christmas is super hard for a lot of single moms who juggle paying bills with their desire to have something for their kids to open Christmas Day. I sound like a bit of a whiner because I know that I have so much to be thankful for this year. It’s just the depression talking and most likely it will go away December 26th.

Christmas for divorced moms can sometimes mean not knowing exactly when you’ll have your kids this year. It means being flexible with how you celebrate. It means sitting and listening to all the wonderful things they’ve got from their dad and celebrating in their happiness as you realize that it is not about me. It is about them and their joy, which can come from whomever can provide for them.

This season is a painful reminder to this divorced mom that things won’t be the way they were but that new things are possible. Like a newly decorated Christmas tree (decorations that is). None with a tie to my past. First year I’ve actually loved my tree. It’s all mine/ours. New start, new phase, new ornaments.

I hate the greed of Christmas. I hate the idea of lists. I hate the concept of being good and you’ll be rewarded. Not sure what we’re teaching our kids with that thinking. Not sure how us giving gifts to each other is reminiscent of the wise men bearing gifts to give to baby Jesus.

So those are my thoughts about Christmas celebrating. I am thankful for the fact that God sent His son to be born into this would so he could grow up and die to take our place, this offering us salvation. I do not hate that as THAT is Christmas.

Please just know this season is not easy on some of us. Yes I am the Grinch. I hate Christmas.

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