My Constant

Posted: December 22, 2014 in Crazy Life of Mine, Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

God is my constant. Tonight I was thinking about all the wild things that have happened in my life. I was struck by an amazing sense of thankfulness.

In 2008 I was facing my first Christmas alone. My ex spouse has filed for divorce a couple of months prior, I had just started a job, I was broke, worn out, frazzled and just broken.

But God was my constant. My world and the people in it changed literally overnight and for someone who does not like change that was really hard.

The next couple of years was a blur. It was filled with hard work, always hard work. It was filled with more tears than I ever thought I’d have to shed. I didn’t think I was going to make it.

But God was my constant. He was there, with me in the sleepless nights and in the heartache. He was the one thing that didn’t change.

Having bipolar disorder, there is not a lot of constant in my life. The past twenty some years have been filled with the adventure of living in this body I was created for. It’s literally been like a roller coaster. A roller coaster called a mood disorder.

But God was my constant. I held to him when I didn’t see the light, when the depression got so bad I checked myself into the hospital for help. Multiple times. Some might call me crazy but I think the crazy people are those who don’t get help.

Friends come, friends go. Family changes. Divorce rips through families like a tsunami. Mine and my family members. New family came and then went. But God was my constant.

The thread of my life is Jesus. He is what sews the patchwork of my life together and who mends me when I break. My life has become this amazing patchwork quilt full of people: my family, my children, my friends, neat people at my church, great people at my work. God is the thread that ties all of us to each other.

I lost count of how many times I’ve moved in 15 years. I’ve had many fluffy animals come into and out of my life. Change wasn’t welcome but it wasn’t a stranger either.

But God is my constant. I’m not sure where I’ll be tomorrow but I deeply comforted by the fact that the creator of the universe not only knows my name but how many hairs are on my head right at this very second.

He’s the constant to this girl whose world doesn’t have constants. And I know that no matter how my world changes He will always be my constant.

  1. Gretiana says:

    He is my anchor, my hiding place, my refuge and my strong tower. Without Him I could as well just go jump into sea and die. He is my reason for wanting to still be here tomorrow.


  2. LaTanya D. says:

    This is such an encouraging testimony. Thank you for sharing it with me.


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