Posts Tagged ‘parenting’

Just got an email this afternoon from my ex-spouse (the emotionally abusive one) that he is getting married in a month.

So how do I handle this?  I don’t care on 99% of the levels but I do have some concerns.  He’s replacing me.  My kids have grown further and farther away from me in the past year and now it’s starting to make sense.  He’s had this person by his side the whole time and the girls kept it from me as well as he did.

So how to be dignified and graceful in this situation?  I’m not quite sure yet that is why I’m writing this down in the hopes that someone can relate to this situation or be helped by something I say here.

So a month.  Really?  He made sure to include the fact the girls like her and she cooks, plays Minecraft, colors with them.  Basically replacing me as I do those things too.  She’s never had children of her own…and she’s moving in on mine.  Maybe she’ll be great.  I’d like to meet her.

I’m going to have to up my A-game but in a dignified way.

How do you be dignified when you are in primal mode?  I really need to listen to my chill out playlist on iTunes.  And I need to listen to the Matthew West song “Forgiveness” until I can forgive him for this last thing he’s done to my  heart.

This week I was verbally assaulted by my children.  Know this:  I’m a very tough person.  My mom says I’m the most courageous person she knows.  My brother said that too.  I get out of bed every day, whether I feel like it physically or not.  I have fibromyalgia, bipolar disorder with a significant amount of anxiety that goes along with the bipolar disorder.  Yet I get up, I work.  Sometimes I’m so physically tired I can barely do anything when I get home.  My parents don’t understand it.  I wish they would.  They think my house should be ready for company at any time.  And that THAT is the reason the kids don’t want to come over.

Which leaves me with my dog.  And my two birds. Right now I want to go home, get my exercise clothes on and walk my dog, in the dark.  And walk until the hurt dies down a little bit.

If you have any suggestions as to how to rise above the emotions I’m feeling I’d love to hear from you or hear your stories.  God is still on the throne.  The sun will rise again tomorrow and the moon will come up tonight.  Tomorrow I will get up and it will be another day at work.  Then I have a whole weekend with my girls.  I have plenty to do with them.

See…my chains are gone.  Forgiveness means my chains are gone.  I’m no longer a prisoner of hate.  I’m ME.  And that is enough.

 

 

 

Parenting is not for the weak hearted. It is, for those of us who cherish our role as parents, one of the profound relationships around.

Parenting is not easy. Yes I realize this is not profound but we need to just say it more. I’m as guilty as the next mom of putting happy faced photos of my children on Facebook. We all do it.

Moms need other moms. Like Kindergarten we too need a buddy system. I encourage you to look for others in your life with whom you can journey together. Learn from the wisdom of moms who’ve been through it before you and pass on your wisdom to younger moms.

You might laugh at me for saying that I’m a private person as yes you are reading a very public blog, but I am. My pastor spoke about the function of walls like around a city and how that translates and is relatable to a person and boundaries. Very good stuff.

After my divorce I closed all the gates into my city and stayed within my walls to protect myself and to heal from “battle.” God’s been working powerfully in my life and for the first time I’ve started to openly admit to others, other women, that I am not perfect. Yes you say, a shocker. Duh. As a child might say.

Patenting as a single mom now (divorced) has untold challenges. I encourage all you women with intact families and marriages to adopt a single mom. Because my guess is we could use it.

You might not realize it but just being invited over to hang out with a ” real” family would be like the lottery. Often being a single mom feels like the loneliest job sometimes but I know it’s not. God created us to live in community and that means functioning as a community.

Think of one person today that you would like to learn from and think of one mom that you can walk alongside of today. Pray for opportunities to learn and to share with others what you have learned. BE the community you long for. It starts with you.

I struggle against my body (and mind) every day. Today was the biggest blessing. I woke up in the night to my nine year old whose toes were touching mine in bed. I gently covered her back up, smiled contentedly and thought that this is as good as it gets here on this earth.

You see, last night she came in after her shower and wanted to know if she could sleep with me. At first I just wanted a good night’s sleep because I had work this morning. Then I looked into this little girl’s heart and thought: what if this were the last night we had together? Then I smiled and told her to go get her blanket and pillows and in she climbed. We talked, smiled, giggled and eventually she dozed off.

Today I felt physically good all day long. It was like a vacation from my body and it was wonderful. It might not last more than today; I just know that in this instant I praise the One who granted me this great day. I look forward to the day when we will shed these bodies in Heaven.

Today was as good as it gets down here.

Image courtesy of FrameAngel / FreeDigitalPhotos.net.