Posts Tagged ‘single parenting’

Just got an email this afternoon from my ex-spouse (the emotionally abusive one) that he is getting married in a month.

So how do I handle this?  I don’t care on 99% of the levels but I do have some concerns.  He’s replacing me.  My kids have grown further and farther away from me in the past year and now it’s starting to make sense.  He’s had this person by his side the whole time and the girls kept it from me as well as he did.

So how to be dignified and graceful in this situation?  I’m not quite sure yet that is why I’m writing this down in the hopes that someone can relate to this situation or be helped by something I say here.

So a month.  Really?  He made sure to include the fact the girls like her and she cooks, plays Minecraft, colors with them.  Basically replacing me as I do those things too.  She’s never had children of her own…and she’s moving in on mine.  Maybe she’ll be great.  I’d like to meet her.

I’m going to have to up my A-game but in a dignified way.

How do you be dignified when you are in primal mode?  I really need to listen to my chill out playlist on iTunes.  And I need to listen to the Matthew West song “Forgiveness” until I can forgive him for this last thing he’s done to my  heart.

This week I was verbally assaulted by my children.  Know this:  I’m a very tough person.  My mom says I’m the most courageous person she knows.  My brother said that too.  I get out of bed every day, whether I feel like it physically or not.  I have fibromyalgia, bipolar disorder with a significant amount of anxiety that goes along with the bipolar disorder.  Yet I get up, I work.  Sometimes I’m so physically tired I can barely do anything when I get home.  My parents don’t understand it.  I wish they would.  They think my house should be ready for company at any time.  And that THAT is the reason the kids don’t want to come over.

Which leaves me with my dog.  And my two birds. Right now I want to go home, get my exercise clothes on and walk my dog, in the dark.  And walk until the hurt dies down a little bit.

If you have any suggestions as to how to rise above the emotions I’m feeling I’d love to hear from you or hear your stories.  God is still on the throne.  The sun will rise again tomorrow and the moon will come up tonight.  Tomorrow I will get up and it will be another day at work.  Then I have a whole weekend with my girls.  I have plenty to do with them.

See…my chains are gone.  Forgiveness means my chains are gone.  I’m no longer a prisoner of hate.  I’m ME.  And that is enough.

 

 

 

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One last day of my half of spring break with my children. Today I remembered what it was like to be a stay at home mom and for a few minutes I was sad. Not sure the kids even noticed it.

On breaks I feel like normal. Or what used to be my normal. With them waking up and going to bed in my home day after day. It is the best thing in the whole world.

I think people considering divorce should spend not only time with trusted advisors and counsellors but they should also be required to spend equal amounts of time with divorced folks. They need to see the realities of it all from all the angles.

As complicated as divorce is, I have chosen to make the most of each day of the new normal (what I call my post divorce life).

That includes jumping into situations that are hard, wearing both parenting hats, and daily choosing or at least trying my very best to make each and every day with my kids count.

Count for fun, for discipline, for learning, for memories. Making the most of each day. Each meal. Savoring the sweet moments with each child. Stolen moments.

Single parenting is hard. Really hard. But when I think that I am not capable, God’s grace flows down and grants me peace in the middle of the chaos.