Clinging to the Life Raft

The hum of the washing machine as it whirls in the background. Listening to my top 25 playlist on my iPhone. There it is again. That song. Forgiveness by Matthew West.

This song is like the anthem of my life that just won’t go away. Even now I sit here on my soft green chair with pneumonia it plays and I type.

I know that God has forgiven everything that I’ve done and everything that I will do. That concept is hard to wrap a mind around but I grab onto it like a life raft.

I’ve forgiven others for things I never thought possible.

Yet here I sit pondering the concept of self forgiveness. It sounds like a bunch of psychobabble bunk but I take pause. This might be the missing link to this journey of grace I’ve been on.

I give grace to others: my family, my friends and my kids but I am less likely to give it to myself. Why is that? I think it’s because deep down I think that I don’t deserve it. Sure I know what the Bible says and trusted people say but still I reserve this concept of forgiveness for others, leaving me devoid of this freedom.

But what if:
I could lay down my condemnation of my failures, of my sin, and allow myself to forgive myself?

To:
Fully accept that forgiveness that God sent His Son, Jesus, to earth for.

Perhaps:
I could finally fly.