An Extroverted Introvert Speaks Her Mind

The silence is deafening and it’s a beautiful thing. Work, email, texts, phone calls, family, friends, kids, church, dog, home. These things are all wonderful but I cherish the time that I get to just be silent.

When there are no work calls to take, no one wanting my attention. It’s my time to recooperate and recharge for the next season of life.

Unless you are one you have no idea the unique challenges one faces as a single mom. The drive that gets you out of bed in the morning. The willingness to do whatever it takes to provide for my family. Working odd jobs on the side, some that you like and some you don’t, so that you can pay your bills and maybe have enough money to take the kids out once in a while.

But I do it willingly. You see, when I get to have silence for a day I am again reminded of just how thankful I am and how blessed I am to be their mom. It truly is my “calling”.

People say I’m an extrovert and that makes me smile because I don’t think of myself that way. I think that I am an introvert who has learned how to be more extroverted so she can feel connected to others. I do this not because I want to but because it is good for me to interact with others. To not be alone.

For me, silence is my way of recooperating from a week of pretending to be an extrovert. It’s my way of enjoying just being alone. I recharge when I am alone; I’ve always been like that. Extroverts would recharge by being around others. I am not like that. When I need to recharge my batteries I turn to silence.

For many reasons, silence = peace. In silence there are no hurtful words being slung around in real time or cyberspace. There is no bickering of siblings trying to live together. In silence it feels like protection. It’s safe.

But God did not create us to be alone. I am a mom, a daughter, sister, sister in law, niece, cousin, aunt, employee. So after being recharged by silence I enter the more uncomfortable extroverted world for another week of noise.

I do this because we were created to live in community. We were created to be family members, moms, aunts, cousins, daughters, sisters, sister in laws, and employees. And so much more.

The fuel is in the silence but the reward is from the relationships.

Be the Community You Long For

Parenting is not for the weak hearted. It is, for those of us who cherish our role as parents, one of the profound relationships around.

Parenting is not easy. Yes I realize this is not profound but we need to just say it more. I’m as guilty as the next mom of putting happy faced photos of my children on Facebook. We all do it.

Moms need other moms. Like Kindergarten we too need a buddy system. I encourage you to look for others in your life with whom you can journey together. Learn from the wisdom of moms who’ve been through it before you and pass on your wisdom to younger moms.

You might laugh at me for saying that I’m a private person as yes you are reading a very public blog, but I am. My pastor spoke about the function of walls like around a city and how that translates and is relatable to a person and boundaries. Very good stuff.

After my divorce I closed all the gates into my city and stayed within my walls to protect myself and to heal from “battle.” God’s been working powerfully in my life and for the first time I’ve started to openly admit to others, other women, that I am not perfect. Yes you say, a shocker. Duh. As a child might say.

Patenting as a single mom now (divorced) has untold challenges. I encourage all you women with intact families and marriages to adopt a single mom. Because my guess is we could use it.

You might not realize it but just being invited over to hang out with a ” real” family would be like the lottery. Often being a single mom feels like the loneliest job sometimes but I know it’s not. God created us to live in community and that means functioning as a community.

Think of one person today that you would like to learn from and think of one mom that you can walk alongside of today. Pray for opportunities to learn and to share with others what you have learned. BE the community you long for. It starts with you.

Community and the Church

Bring your brokenness and I’ll bring mine. Love can heal what hurt divides. Mercy’s waiting on the other side.

There is freedom found when we lay our secrets at the cross. -“If We’re Honest” by Francesca Batistelli

This morning I was walking through the halls at church noticing all the people. Sometimes observing folks at church is like watching people putting their best foot forward and I would imagine that I’ve been guilty of that too.

To me church is about the sweet woman who hugged me tight as she spoke from a place of hurt about her marriage. Church is about a dear friend with a dear secret. Church, community, is about feeling free and safe to say this is who I am, these are my struggles, this is my journey…and being loved in return. Church should be a picture of our relationship with God if it functions properly.

Community, the church, should be a place where we can be who we truly are without fear. I’ve found this church! When the body of Christ functions healthily we should be able to lay bare our hurt at the foot of the cross together.

I’m not saying we should reveal our deepest hurts to strangers. I am saying that when you walk through your church next Sunday remember that we are all human. If you’ve been put off by churches I encourage you to try again because when you find a group of believers and leaders who walk life with you it is an amazing thing.

God created us for relationship with Him and with each other. Build a new relationship today or tend to someone who needs you. THAT is being the church to the world.